


on your reckoning day / better get down and pray / thank God for girls

by charleybradburies



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bad Matchmaking, Canon Compliant, Canon Disabled Character, Canon Het Relationship, Canon Temporary Character Death, Co-workers, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Infidelity, Everything Hurts, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Idiots in Love, Love Triangles, Male-Female Friendship, Marriage Proposal, Matchmaking, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Happy, POV Male Character, Season/Series 02, The Author Is In Pain, The Author Regrets Everything, This Is STUPID, Unhappy Ending, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 19:19:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5837797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charleybradburies/pseuds/charleybradburies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel tries to convince himself he's doing the right thing, but all is not well. </p><p>Nothing but angst. Basically. Consider yourselves warned.</p><p>Title from Weezer's "Thank God for Girls"</p>
            </blockquote>





	on your reckoning day / better get down and pray / thank God for girls

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler-ish for photos released from episode 5, but nothing specific enough for me to shout "spoilers".

“Getting engaged? How did _that_ happen?” Jack cries, his voice almost a pathetic shout, ending his question with the downing of another shot and a nod at the bartender.

“Well, Jack, when a man and -” 

“You _know_ what I mean.”

Rose shrugs, feigning an apologetic attitude she’d never really had. 

“She’s a _nice_ girl.”

“You say that like there’s a chance I give a damn.” 

Rose chuckles, taking another sip of her own, very pink, drink. He doesn’t know what it is and he probably should, since he’s paying for it, but he doesn’t ask anyway.

“I _know_ you don’t. I’m just saying, don’t get any terrible ideas.”

“Well, shit. Carter and Sousa think all of my ideas are terrible.”

“It’s not like you have the greatest track record, Jack.”

He pauses and then shrugs, knowing that of the people he might like to try to lie to, Rose is probably the most likely to call him out. At least, she also was the nicest about it. 

“It’s not like we’re going through official channels to fix this up.”

“And what do you call a transfer, Jack?”

“Semi-official.”

++

Stark’s call from Peru feels both painfully long and eerily short, and as terrible as Daniel feels about it, he almost wishes it doesn’t work - but no, Stark and his mentor are able to return Wilkes to his real body within the day. And of course, while it’s objectively a good thing that Wilkes is able to help with the investigation, that maybe they can clear his name, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t something Daniel can only describe as a sort of phantom pain along with the happiness that Peggy shows at his return. She only hugs Wilkes, thank God, but every second she holds onto him at all, Daniel feels it getting harder and harder to breathe.

He doesn’t know what things _should_ be like for him, but he knows that _this_ isn’t it. They’re friends, and he’s in love and so is she, and they’re supposed to be happy for each other, because friends were happy about that sort of thing. It shouldn’t feel like his chest was being ripped apart when she smiled at another man. 

It should be _Violet_ he thinks of in the middle of the night, especially on the nights he wakes up on her couch simply because it’s easier to let himself be taken care of a bit and she’s very good at taking care of people. He shouldn’t still have the nightmare of Peggy sneering at him in the interrogation room and confessing to being Howard Stark’s girl, and he shouldn’t worry that every call that he gets is an S.O.S. from Jarvis, shouldn’t feel more guilty about having let Peggy go out that night than about leaving his own girlfriend behind on the night on which he’d been planning to propose. He was _trying_ to think about the rest of his life. Something stable, something constant, with a fence and a dog and some kids with a girl whose middle name wasn’t Trouble. 

So why did it hurt him so bad that Trouble was making eyes across the room at somebody else?

His life was calmer, simpler, easier without her in it. He should be happy about having the chance to build that life, not postponing the Big Question out of some childish... _something_. Hope, naivete, whatever it was, it _wasn’t_ love, and it wasn’t helpful. He’d sworn to himself and God a long time ago he’d only use the word when he meant it - and he’d used it with Violet, so he _had_ to mean it. He was just scared, wasn’t he? The part of him that still doubts he deserves to be loved by a woman, _that_ was the problem. 

He’ll do it. He’ll leave it up to Violet to confirm that she loves him, and it’ll all be okay.

+

He forgot the ring box in his jacket again, but this time it’s the _right_ woman who happens upon it: Violet, who decides to do laundry in the middle of the day on a Wednesday because he’s at work and her shift doesn’t start for a couple hours and she can’t find anything better to do so she gathers up the clothes of his he’s left at her place - and she sets it on the dining room table, so he realizes she’s found it right when he gets back from work, even before she comes to happily greet him.

She’s ecstatic and it’s simple, but when she leaves for work wearing the engagement ring Daniel stares at the empty box and wonders, still, if he’s really doing the right thing.

+

It doesn’t take long for Daniel to start believing that he isn’t, let alone to hate himself for it.

Violet calls Rose that evening, and even _her_ congratulations the following morning feel a little dull, but Daniel tries not to read into it. 

Peggy, though, seems fine and unawares in the morning, and Daniel doesn’t mention it to any of the agents, but Rose pulls Peggy aside in the middle of the day and the only part of the conversation Daniel actually hears is her apologizing for being on the phone when Peggy’d arrived.

When they return, an inordinate length of time later, it’s quite clear that Peggy’s been crying and Rose is making an attempt at comforting her. Peggy visibly tries to act as though nothing’s changed since the day before, except when she bids Daniel good-bye at the end of the night and wishes him luck with a forced smile and a hollow, shaky voice. Her happiness seems more genuine a few seconds later when Wilkes ushers her out on his arm, but _God,_ from where Daniel’s sitting, it’s all wrong. Everything _looks_ as right as it could, and yet _everything_ feels wrong.

He calls Violet to say he’ll be late, and when there’s no one else left in the office, Daniel lets himself cry.


End file.
